The Silent Treatment
by foobar137
Summary: Paul is just stopping at the Fletcher household to pick up his date - no problem, right? He just has to make small talk with her father, the famous Ferb Fletcher; what could go wrong? Trope bingo: 'mind games'


**After "No Shovel Required" got posted, 14AmyChan and I started talking about what it would be like to meet Ferb as the dad of your date. This is the result.**

* * *

Paul took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. Someone came running, and the door swung open to show Everett Fletcher, Elizabeth's twin brother. Everett grinned at him, then turned and yelled, "Beth! Your date's here!"

A woman walked up behind Everett, asking, "Well, aren't you going to let him in, Everett?" She looked a lot like Beth, only her hair was a dark brown instead of Beth's bright green.

"Sorry, Mom. Come on in and wait, Paul." Everett said, gesturing him inside.

"Nice to meet you, Paul. I'm Vanessa Fletcher, Elizabeth's mom." the woman said, leading him toward the living room.

_Fletcher_, Paul thought as he followed. _I had to fall for the daughter of one of the inventors of the wood-metal fuser. No pressure._

In the living room, a tall man with bright green hair, just starting to go grey at the temples, lay sprawled on a couch reading a tablet; he sat up as his wife glared at him, making room for her to sit as Paul took a seat on the loveseat across from them.

"Paul, this is my husband, Ferb. Ferb, this is Paul, Elizabeth's date. So, Paul, Elizabeth says you're an artist?" Mrs. Fletcher asked.

Paul nodded, then said, "Yes, I am. A little. I'm not very good yet, but I'm getting better. I mostly do sculpture from found materials."

"That's nice. Are you planning to continue that as a career?" she asked with a smile. Next to her, Mr. Fletcher listened attentively.

"I don't know yet. I don't really know what I want to do yet. I'm just fifteen."

She nodded. "That's reasonable. I don't think Elizabeth really knows yet either, and I'm sure Everett doesn't."

From up the stairs, Everett called, "Mom, can you come here for a minute?"

Mrs. Fletcher rolled her eyes and muttered, "Speak of the devil," as she stood up, then called, "Coming!" as she started up the stairs.

Paul looked over at the man on the couch across from him. The man - Ferb Fletcher _himself_ - gave him a friendly smile but said nothing.

Paul tried to smile back, but wasn't sure what to do. _Do I keep talking? Do I just look at him? Do I totally fanboy over the wood-metal fuser and what it means for me when I'm making sculpture?_

"So, I walked over here. I just live a half-mile or so down the road," Paul said, trying not to sound nervous. "I figured we'd walk to the roller rink and go skating."

Mr. Fletcher nodded encouragingly, but still said nothing.

"I really like Beth. She's wonderful. And she's so much fun to be with." _Why am I saying this? I should just shut up._

Mr. Fletcher smiled approvingly.

"She's a really good kisser, too." Paul winced, and quickly added, "Not that I have a lot to compare it to." _No! Stop! Change the subject!_

Mr. Fletcher's eyebrows went up, but he remained silent.

"I...uh, really like the wood-metal fuser. It's really handy for my sculpture. Thank you for inventing it."

Mr. Fletcher smiled appreciatively, and nodded his head in thanks.

Paul was saved by the clatter of shoes on the stairs, and Beth appeared, wearing a clingy tan dress, with her green hair braided and draped over one shoulder. She gave him a bright smile, then looked at her father, nodding her head toward Paul.

Mr. Fletcher gave a decisive nod and a thumbs-up.

Beth smiled, then nodded toward the empty space next to him on the couch with an inquisitive expression.

Mr. Fletcher pointed in the direction of the staircase.

Beth raised an eyebrow and gave him a puzzled look.

Mr. Fletcher gestured in an odd way that Paul didn't quite understand, but evidently Beth did. Taking a deep breath, she shouted, "_Everett! I'm going to kill you for this!_"

From up the stairs, Paul heard Everett laughing.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," Mr. Fletcher said quietly in a British accent.

Grinning evilly, Beth took Paul's arm and led him toward the door. Mrs. Fletcher came down the stairs, followed by a smirking Everett.

"Have a good time, you two," Mrs. Fletcher said, escorting them out and closing the door behind them.

He took Beth's hand as they walked down the sidewalk, and she gave him an apologetic smile, saying, "Sorry about that. Dad doesn't talk much, and while I'm used to it, it can be intimidating. Which was why I was so mad at Everett for suckering Mom away and leaving you high and dry. He knew what he was doing."

"It's okay. I survived. Although I did happen to mention to your father that you're a really good kisser."

Her eyes danced mischievously, and she pulled him aside into a nearby alley. Putting her arms around his neck, she leaned in for a kiss. As he kissed her back, any concerns about his conversation with her father went away.

_Who needs words anyway?_

* * *

**Elizabeth and Everett are likely to be my default children for Ferb and Vanessa going forward.**

**I think that having Phineas and Ferb invent the wood-metal fuser is likely to be part of my headcanon.**


End file.
